fuggetabout it

I'm in a vicious mood today.

I wish I could disappear in an invisible coma for a week and come back with a real job and a real life. I'm sick of living in a tiny, windowless room twenty miles away from the nearest grocery store. I'm tired of driving fifty-plus miles a day, working two jobs, and trying to keep up with school. I don't want to be a bartender anymore and I'm bored with the moon. I want one job again ... a single job with a dress code, lunch breaks, bitchy coworkers, health insurance, and vacation time. I want the luxury of making a drive-thru run in my pajamas in the middle of the night. I can't do that in Munds Park. I want to join a gym and whine about not going enough. I want a full-sized closet and my own kitchen ... a kitchen I can mess up and organize whenever and however I want!

Ugh.

I don't know why I'm in such an ugly mood, but I've got a headache, a toothache, and a cracked lip. I'm alone in Chandler when I should be at work in Flagstaff. I weighed myself for the first time in months and wanted to cry. My head is throbbing and I feel like I've been sick for too long and I'm tired of being tired and, and, and ... ugh.

I don't know.